When your family keeps you stuck

Easter holiday season – time to spend time with family and friends. While that’s hopefully a joyous occasion, let’s face it – it can also feel quite difficult. 

Especially when you’re in the midst of radical personal change. 

You’re trying to leave unhelpful aspects and habits behind. You’re embedding new, healthier behaviours – yet family and friends are used to the ‘old you’.

Perhaps you’ve always been a people-pleaser, adapting your behaviour to what’s expected of you. Maybe you don’t feel you can voice your needs (around food or rest for example), for fear of causing conflict. Or perhaps you’ve always been the peacekeeper, smoothing over everyone else’s hurt feelings. 

It’s absolutely OK to feel you’ve had enough of those old patterns. If you’re trying to change them, though, you might be dreading spending time with people who are used to the ‘old you’. And while the holiday season isn’t the ideal time to heal old wounds, it can feel hard to ‘play nice’ when, inside, those wounds are still festering.

When you’re going through big changes in your life, deep compassion for yourself is called for. Prioritise whatever it is you need.

If you can, invite a conversation before the gathering to let people know of any dietary changes, or need for periods of rest. Let people know you’re getting used to new habits and ask for support.

If you’re brooding over a past hurt, and it doesn’t feel possible to resolve it with those you’re seeing over the holidays, try journalling your feelings or seeking help to talk it through with someone else. Download my guide to ‘Speaking Your Truth’ here.

Finally, if you’re not seeing loved ones but instead jetting off to a new destination, use that time to practise being the ‘new you’. After all, if you’re not seeing anyone you already know, you have the freedom to play with new identities and fresh ways of responding to the world!